✨ Welcome to Sahroni Capital! ✨
Where we specialize in absolutely no funding whatsoever! 🚫💰
💫 "We won't fund your dream — but we'll validate your delusion!" 💫
Our mission? To enjoy the grand theater of startup optimism, one overhyped deck at a time! We believe every bad idea deserves a good audience! 👏
Whether it's "AI for Dog Feelings" 🐕💭 or "Uber but for Pigeons" 🐦🚗, we're here to nod thoughtfully, ask jargon-filled questions, and say "let's circle back" before ghosting you forever! 👻
Professional nodders since 2025! 🎯
We'll listen to your pitch with genuine enthusiasm, then disappear into the digital void. It's an art form! 🎨
We'll pepper your meeting with buzzwords like "synergy," "disruptive," and "paradigm shift" to make you feel important! 🚀
We'll compliment your PowerPoint's color palette while completely ignoring your business model! 🌈
We believe in distraction! Because honestly, your pitch deck's color palette is impressive! 🎨✨
Every meeting is a performance! You're the star, we're the audience, and the show must go on! 🌟🎭
Revolutionary emotion detection for canines! We listened. We nodded. We ghosted. 👻
On-demand avian transportation! The pitch was delightful. The business model was... creative! 🎨
Decentralized citrus beverages! We asked about the tokenomics. They were very excited to explain! 🚀
We're always ready to listen to your next big idea! No matter how questionable it might be! 🤔💡